Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
