wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
