tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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