What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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