If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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