i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
