you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
