I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
