Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
