look no pants
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just invented taco cereal.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
