I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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