Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
