Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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