That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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