When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
