How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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