I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
