the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
