My cat gives me a boner
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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