you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
