We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
