So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
