I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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