I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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