So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
