I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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