question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
