If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we're so committed to being not committed
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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