Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
