How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
