Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
