hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
