Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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