it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
