The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
