I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
