is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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