My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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