Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
