I murdered the dance floor call the cops
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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