is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
