yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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