6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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