the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
