Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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