Grow some girl-balls and come out already
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
