i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
