Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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