It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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