It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
