I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize