I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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