There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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