You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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