I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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