8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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