Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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