I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
