So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
