The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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