i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
