We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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