the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.