wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?