he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Swine flu is the new snow day.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.