don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation harelip BJ is a go
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Either my boss has an enormous dick or heβs hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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