Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
